In the middle of the EDT night, 10th March 2015, as I painted a doodle in Photoshop (with Kyle T. Webster brushes and Wacom tablet, in a new, dedicated-to-art-only workspace), I swung back and forth between instinctive strokes, shapes, textures, and forced ones.
Moved by the heart, I was fiercely happy. But sometimes, too, I felt an imaginary audience, my vanity, at war with the heart, muddying the vision, overworking the effort, fracturing the story I couldn’t fully see as yet. Afraid of a commitment, I hadn’t planned anything. I was trying out brushes, is all.
I had to stop after two hours because of work scheduled for the morning. But I wanted to continue, to uncover a particular poignant tension I feel between a weather-battered sandy shore, and the tufts of grasses and flowers that grow in its sheltered places. That having to stop has been a constraint for a long time. Behind the having-to-stop-iness hides one who’s is looking for who she is, and what her hands can say.
#relearning #art #mindfulness #losetheego #digitalpainting #Photoshop #Wacom #KyleTWebsterbrushes